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“I Don’t Want To Be A Caregiver Anymore” – Guilt & Dread

Providing care to an adult child, aging parent, or another loved one can be hard physically, emotionally, and mentally. It can be especially challenging if you’re the primary caregiver for someone with multiple health problems, chronic illness, or high care needs. 

When you’ve been dealing with enough chronic stress, you may dread caregiving responsibilities. You may find yourself thinking, “I don’t want to be a caregiver anymore”, followed by the guilt that comes with thoughts like these. 

At Trualta, we’re here to help caregivers get the support they need on their unique caregiving journey. Check if you have free access to our educational resources, support groups, and more. 

In this article, we’ll review:

  • Caregiver burnout and why caregiving can feel so hard.
  • Reasons that caregivers experience guilt and dread.
  • Strategies for coping with these feelings.

The Weight Of Caregiving & Burnout

When caregivers don’t take breaks or dedicate enough time to their needs, it may lead to caregiver burnout. This can happen when a carer reaches a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion as a result of their overwhelming caregiving responsibilities, lack of support, and insufficient time to address their own needs. 

Burnout is serious and can become a vicious cycle. It can impact a caregiver’s:

  • Physical health and wellness.
  • Emotions, mood, mental health, and behaviors.
  • Interest in leisure and social activities.
  • Ability to engage in self-care and productive activities.
  • Ability to provide safe, quality care to their loved one. 

You may find yourself experiencing feelings like:

  • Guilt. You may feel like you’re not meeting your (or your care recipient’s) expectations for care, and that you could be a “better caregiver”. You may even feel responsible for your loved one’s poor health. 
  • Dread. After feeling constantly overwhelmed or prioritizing someone else’s needs over your own, you may dread caregiving. You may dream about escaping these caregiving responsibilities or avoid certain tasks altogether. 

These feelings can contribute to problems like depression, anxiety, and poor physical health.

A man in a coral-colored polo shirt sits in a group setting, looking directly at the camera. Several people are in the background, engaged in conversation during a caregiver support group.

8 Tips For Coping With Guilt & Dread

Regardless of your care situation, it can be hard to cope with guilt and dread. Here are some tips to help: 

  • Acknowledge your feelings. Taking a moment to label your emotions can be the first step to taking action. 
  • Remember that two things can be true at the same time. When struggling with guilt or dread, practice acknowledging what you need while saying you’re a good caregiver. For example, “I’m a good caregiver and I’m going to take a 20-minute nap.” 
  • Change your mindset. Don’t judge yourself for dreading your caregiver role, as it can feed into the cycle of guilt. Practice acknowledging your feelings in the moment, accepting that it is what it is, and moving on.
  • Build realistic self care and rest into each day. Adding it to your daily or weekly schedule can make it easier to do. It might look like watching an episode of a TV show, doing a hobby, or going out for a coffee.
  • Get help. Look into respite care, home care, or adult day care to help you get a break a few times per week. Talk to a health care professional or local Area Agency on Aging for social services and other support resources. 
  • Talk it out. Make an appointment with a mental health professional to discuss your feelings and get practical strategies to reduce stress and overwhelm. You can also use more informal opportunities to get feelings off your chest, like calling a family member on the phone, going for a walk with a friend, or venting online.
  • Boost your skills. Get training from a health care provider or caregiver training course to support your confidence and improve care quality. 
  • Remember your “why”. If you start to feel guilty for taking a break or tending to your own needs, remind yourself why it’s important. Remember that you can provide higher quality care when you engage in self care.

It’s easy to feel alone when experiencing guilt and dread. We’re here to be your care partner in any caregiving situation. Check if you have free access to Trualta today. 

References

  1. Cleveland Clinic (2023, August 16). Caregiver burnout. 
  2. Rollins, Mira (2022, February 9). Preventing caregiver burnout [Webinar Notes]. occupationaltherapy.com
  3. Mohamed Hussin, N. A., & Mohd Sabri, N. S. (2023). A qualitative exploration of the dynamics of guilt experience in family cancer caregivers. Supportive care in cancer : official journal of the Multinational Association of Supportive Care in Cancer, 31(12), 659. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00520-023-08060-3
  4. JFS Care at Home (2021, April 21). Are you experiencing caregiver dread? These tips can help. 

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